What Not to Say: “I went to the car dealership yesterday, but I had such a hard time picking between an Audi and a Porsche. ” What to Say: “I’m so excited–I put a downpayment on my new car yesterday!”

What Not to Say: “Did you not like my other outfits?” What to Say: “Thanks so much! The ol’ jeans and cardigan were getting a little boring, so I wanted to change things up. ”

Use empathetic language, like “I can tell that this is really weighing on you” or “That situation sounds really exasperating. ” Make clear eye contact throughout the conversation while keeping your posture nice and relaxed. Let the person finish their statement instead of interrupting. [5] X Expert Source Sirvart Mesrobian, PsyDClinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 13 July 2021. Leave your phone in your pocket, even if you’ve just gotten a notification. [6] X Expert Source Sirvart Mesrobian, PsyDClinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 13 July 2021.

Keeping conversations self-centered Bullying people Lying to avoid the consequences

What Not to Say: “I went to the same college as Tom Brady. ” What to Say: “I went to the University of Michigan–it was pretty cold, but the football games were great. Go Wolverines!”

“I heard that Sharon volunteers at the animal shelter every weekend. Isn’t that awesome?” “I bumped into Matt at a blood drive, and he said it was his fourth time donating this year. What a great guy!” “Katie worked an extra 2 hours to get everything ready for tomorrow. I wish I had her work ethic!”

Asking questions[12] X Expert Source Sirvart Mesrobian, PsyDClinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 13 July 2021. Spending time with open-minded people Staying calm during a difficult conversation or debate[13] X Research source

What Not to Say: “Visited my doctor yesterday and got my sleeping pill prescription refilled. I’m definitely sleeping well tonight!” What to Say: “Do you have any tips on how to relax and unwind after a long day of work?”

Making good eye contact Mirroring the other person’s facial expressions Labeling another person’s feelings and experiences

Practicing gratitude Offering compliments Practicing mindful breathing Trying compassion meditation

What Not to Say: “That’s great that you got 1450 on your SAT. I just checked my results, and I actually got 1550!” What to Say: “Congrats on your SAT score! All of that hard work and studying must have paid off. ”

Organizing commitments by priority level Saying no when you have too much on your plate Getting your daily checklist done consistently